Predator: Badlands is Absolutely Awful
Wow, this one was bad – it’s been a while since I enjoyed a movie less than I did Predator: Badlands. It’s not even bad in a “fun-bad” way; it’s like watching an overlong video game cutscene. It was extremely tough to sit through.
There have been many entries into the Predator franchise since the original 1987 Arnold Schwarzenegger film: more movies, novels, video games, and comic books. They’ve all been successful to varying degrees, but I don’t think any come close to capturing the all-out science fiction action-extravaganza that was that first film. If there’s one movie that’s actually the most contrary to the feel of that first one, it has to be this one.
In the original Predator, the titular alien is an unstoppable force. He’s a ruthless killer, capable of taking out members of super elite military team, only meeting his match when he comes up against the biggest action star of all time, Arnold himself.
Do you want to know an awful setup for a Predator film? How about we follow a runt predator and see the film from his perspective. We learn about his family problems before he sets off to take down a beast to impress his father. Awful. Just awful.
When said predator, named Dek, arrives at the alien world he teams up with an android and a blue monkey. Because the movie is also a team-up movie with a good bit of (attempted) humor throughout it.
In that original film, viewers were on the edge of their seats wondering who was going to be next to meet their demise as a ferocious alien stalked its prey. How could anyone hope to even fight back? In Badlands we get a blatantly CGI planet filled with goofy CGI threats and comedic quips.
I wouldn’t have found the disrespect to the idea of Predators being these menacing, seemingly unstoppable villains so egregious if Badlands was a quality film. It’s not. I know we’re heading towards a world where AI will just generate movies at the click of a button, and, though it’s sort of cliché to say at this point, it really does feel like this movie could’ve been generated entirely by AI in such a fashion.
I suppose fans of Badlands will point to the idea that we get events from a predators perspective as an original, fresh take. However, I’d argue that just because something is original, that doesn’t inherently make it good or improved. What if I made a movie where the predator from this film and his android friend go to Earth and take up pickle ball? The blue monkey is their coach for the big pickle ball tournament. That would be an original idea, but it (like all of Badlands) is also a bad idea. (Though that would be marginally more entertaining than this movie.)
I’m honestly in utter disbelief that this movie has any good reviews, and the fact that its reception has been overwhelming positive leads me to really question the taste of my fellow moviegoers. Do most people just want mindless PG-13 entertainment? Because even if the movie was only going for that, I’d say the action sequences are overdrawn, bland, and (like the entire film) incredibly predictable.
Predator: Badlands is the exact type of film I’d be grateful to never watch again. It’s a far subpar entry into an up-and-down franchise that, when considering the concept behind it, never should’ve even been made.
Grade: 3/10